Sry I called you an 8
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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