he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
