I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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