I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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