She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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