i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
