she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
