If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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