We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize