Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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