Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(563): View more from Iowa

that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.

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(909): View more from California

do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?

(760): View more from California

and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook

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(631): View more from New York

Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!

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(708): View more from Illinois

if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again

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(360): View more from Washington

It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.

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(440): View more from Ohio

The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.

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(619): View more from California

Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up

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(352): View more from Florida

Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.

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