3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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