How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
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Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
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Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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