Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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