i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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