we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
