Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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