Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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