I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
