i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
