I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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