A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
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