I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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