We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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