and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
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