Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
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