i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
