If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
