his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
