That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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