Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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