I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just want nice things and good sex
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
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