I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
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He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
God, I missed his penis.
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