I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
