are you so shy because you have an std?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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