I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize