I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize