can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
