I cannot find my penis.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
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