Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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