I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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