Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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