I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Randomize
