Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
