her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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