when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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