so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
