dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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