i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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