Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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