i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
