i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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